A Rest Home For The Lists Of An Obsessive Compulsive
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
THE RULES OF DEAD ARM COMPETITION ENGAGEMENT
1. Both participants must be consenting, adult and excessively intoxicated (substance of choice at contenders disgression, alchohol strongly recommended for its analgesic properties) 2. The participants are hereby known as the "opponants", of which there are only two per engagement in any one tournament. 3. The mandatory target arm of striking is the arm employed for every-day activity. Prefereably right-on-right/left-on-left. 3. A maximum of five strikes is permissable. Opponants must endeavour to inflict full potential within this strike rate, a lesser striking rate is permissable only with opponants prior agreement. 4. The order of striking is strictly alternate, one opponant followed by another. 5. The fist must strike the arm flat, that is to say the Walter-Clarky knuckle variant is not permissable. 6. Striking any other part of the body other than the upper arm between elbow and shoulder is strictly prohibited. 7. The "winner" is hereby judged as the opponant the illicits maximum vocal and/or phsyical reaction from the "loser" as ajudged by similarly inhebriated spectators. Sober judgement is disallowed. 8. Review of "victory" subject to review after three days whereby subsequent bruises are compared for colour and surface area.
impressive result of the Walter-Clarky knuckle variant
Archangel Thunderbird - Amon Duul Il Middle Of The Road - Denim Lady With The Braid - Dory Previn If You Have Ghosts - Roky Erickson Don't Fear The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult Chic - Le Freak Fanfare For The Common Man - Emerson Lake & Palmer Don't Believe A Word - Thin Lizzy I Am I Said - Neil Diamond Almost Cut My Hair - Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young Dazed and Confused - Led Zeppelin Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen Feel Flows - The Beach Boys Cor Baby That's Really - John Otway & Wild Willy Barret Bought and Sold - Rory Gallagher Fireball - Deep Purple Back In Black - AC/DC Fur Immer - Neu! Highway to Hell - AC/DC The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down - The Band California Uber Alles - Dead Kennedys Beware of the Flowers - John Otway I've Seen All Good People - Yes Jessica - Alman Brothers Band American Woman - The Guess Who Born On The Bayou - Creedence Clearwater Revival I Saw the Light - Todd Rundgren In The Street - Big Star For Those About To Rock - AC/DC Jailbreak - Thin Lizzy Just Dropped In To See What My Condition Was In - Kenny Rogers & The First Edition Killer Queen - Queen Lady - Dennis Wilson Whiskey In The Jar - Thin Lizzy Light Flight - Pentangle Love Hurts - Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris Mama's Dont Let Your - Willie Nelson Cool in the Pool - Holger Czukay Marquee Moon - Television Motor Bikin' - Chris Spedding Suzy Q - Creedence Clearwater Revival Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra Paradise By The Dashboard Lights - Meat Loaf Proud Mary - Creedence Clearwater Revival Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who Reelin' In The Years - Steely Dan Since I've Been Loving You - Led Zeppelin Tonight's the Night - Neil Young Smoke On The Water - Deep Purple Surf's Up - The Beach Boys The Chain - Fleetwood Mac Who'll Stop The Rain - Creedence Clearwater Revival The Rocker - Thin Lizzy Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac Wilkommen - Cabaret Thirteen - Big Star You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us - Sparks Time Of The Season - The Zombies More Than A Feeling - Boston Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake Whole Lot of Rosie - AC/DC Sweetness - Yes Gary Gilmore's Eyes - The Adverts Chestnut Mare - The Byrds Take A Look At My Girlfriend - Supertramp The Ballad Of El Goodo - Big Star First Of The Gang To Die - Morrissey My Sweet Lord - George Harrison Dreamer - Supertramp The Witch - Rattles Deutscher Girls - Adam And The Ants Consolation Prize - Orange Juice The World's Strongest Man - Scott Walker Totally Wired - The Fall A Song For You - Gram Parsons Cocaine Carolina - John R. Cash Chelsea Morning - Fairport Convention Miss You - Rolling Stones Tales of Brave Ulysses - Cream Geno - Dexy's Midnight Runners Karen - The Go-Betweens Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks Lee Remick - The Go-Betweens Season of the Witch - Donovan
my family Lisa Susan Kika Robert Liseann Swiss Chalet affordable living good wages playing NTL trivia camping hanging out with Kika on the couch watching bad TV drives out to Niagara-On-The-Lake with Led Zepplin blaring the Niagara Glenn Dairy Queen being on the dance floor with Susan trees having 4 actual seasons the Great Lakes playing pool daisy lestor the secret swing - though I've only been there once endless hours with Lisa drinking iced tea in Tim Hortons Queen St. West harvest moons convenient store opening hours Montabello Park chicken wings with Franks Redhot Sauce Shopper's Drug Mart the Canadian Rockies Squirrely's my Noni's home cooking snow thunder storms
YouCan't Park There, And You Can't Wear That! Things That Simon Johns Simply Cannot Abide (I expect this list will be frequently amended)
responsibility tardiness littering body odour actors shorts warm lager flying marking graffiti hip hop london road drivers that don't indicate loud clubs fretless bass fitted jeans rubbish dancing acid nick-nacks gold jewlery common people taxis cassettes rain winter summer autumn people who say scone to ryhme with cone crap ice cream my brighton beach in summer time crusties
The Go-Betweens- @The Concorde2 Shark/LaMomo/SHRAG- @The Freebutt The Fall/John Cooper Clark- @The Concorde2 LeTigre/Gravy Train/Miss Pain- @The Concorde2 Phill Collins 3/Shark- @The Engine Rooms Adam Green- @Komedia The Blue Minkies- @The Freebutt Death From Above 1979/Controller Controller- @The Venue, London New Cross St. Etienne/The Magic Numbers- @The Concorde2
Time -Alexander Waugh Geek Love - Katherine Dunn The Ladybird Book Of Handwriting 1969 edition Lynton & Lynmouth Illustrated Guide Book 1917 edition - Wardlock & Co's Toddler On The Run/Dust Falls On Eugene Schlumburger - Shena Mackay The Dog - Cassell Ryhme Stew - Roald Dahl Matilda - Roald Dahl Flanimals - Ricky Gervais If Only You Knew How Much I Smell You - Shaff/Blount MIMS - May 2001 Shakey - Jimmy McDonough In The Name Of The Rose - Umberto Eco Fantasy Femmes Of Sixties Cinema - Tina Lisanti The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time - Mark Haddon An Anthropologist On Mars - Oliver Sacks World Revolutionary Elites - Harold D. Lasswell & Daniel Lerner
